Learning to share is a significant milestone in a child’s social development, but it’s also one of the trickiest to master. Understanding the difference between sharing and taking turns can make it easier to guide your child through this essential skill.

What’s the Difference Between Sharing and Taking Turns?

Parents often ask their children to share when they really mean they want them to take turns. While they seem similar, these are two distinct skills:

• Sharing involves giving a portion of something to someone else, like splitting a snack.
• Taking turns means letting another person use something exclusively for a time before it’s returned.

Both can be challenging for young children, especially toddlers, as their natural developmental stage makes them very self-focused. Learning these skills requires empathy, which starts to develop around ages 3 or 4 but may take longer for some children.

Understanding Your Child’s Abilities

It’s essential to have realistic expectations for your child’s behavior. If your toddler becomes upset when asked to share a toy, know that this is entirely normal. At this age, children are learning about ownership and often feel a strong attachment to “their” belongings.

Remember, young children are still figuring out how the world works. Your patience, guidance, and support are vital as they grow and develop these complex social skills.

Tips to Encourage Sharing and Taking Turns

1. Use Clear Language
   Help your child understand the process by explaining it in simple terms. For example:
   “Sophia, let’s take turns with the blocks. You’re playing with them now, and then it will be Liam’s turn.”

   Narrating the situation helps your child grasp the concept and prepares them for the transition.

2. Stay Neutral During Disagreements
   When disputes arise, resist stepping in immediately. Allow your child to navigate the conflict, as this teaches valuable problem-solving and emotional regulation skills. Step in only if the situation escalates or becomes unsafe.

3. Practice Through Playdates
   Organize opportunities for your child to interact with peers. Playtime naturally offers moments to practice sharing and turn-taking. Use praise to reinforce positive behavior, such as:
   “I saw how you gave the puzzle piece to your friend—that was really kind!”

4. Acknowledge Emotions
   Help your child name their feelings when conflicts arise:
   “It’s hard to wait for your turn, isn’t it? But you’re doing a great job being patient.”

   Recognizing their emotions helps them feel understood and builds emotional intelligence.

5. Model Sharing Behavior
   Children often imitate adults. Show them how sharing works in everyday situations, like offering a piece of your snack or taking turns during a family game.

6. Use Songs or Stories
   Fun tools like songs or stories can reinforce sharing in a way that’s engaging. Characters like Daniel Tiger can be helpful—sing along to encourage the idea that sharing can be enjoyable.

Play and Social Development

Play is one of the best ways to nurture your child’s social skills. Through repeated interactions, they’ll learn the importance of cooperation, patience, and empathy. Remember that struggles with sharing are normal and age-appropriate.

Your understanding and consistent support will help your child build the confidence they need to navigate social situations. With time, they’ll learn that sharing and taking turns can lead to stronger friendships and more enjoyable playtime.